wendy_oldbag

((Hey guys, this will be my final post as Oldbag. I feel like I've done everything I could with her and for a long while now I just haven't been having any fun RPing her. This isn't a sudden decision, I've been wanting to drop her for awhile now. So go ahead and remove her from your friends lists. I'll still un-screen her valentines day box tomorrow, though.))

My niece insists that I go to her wedding in Cancun! Can you believe it?! I'd be so furious if she had expected me to pay for the flight myself, but lucky for me she's got a fat sum of money from that man she supposedly loves, and she's paying for my trip. Well, since she insists, I suppose I will go. I just hope that the ceremony isn't too long. I'm going to need lots of time to try out my new swimsuit at the beach!

I hope you don't miss me too terribly, Edgey~boy~~

And as for the rest of you, don't cause trouble while I'm gone, punks!

Oh Eeeedgey~boooy... I put up one of those hip newfangled Valentines Day box ideas all those young punks are using. You'll send me a card, right?

All you other young ones out there, feel free to send little old me something sweet, too! Ooh, this holiday gets me all fiery...

((Comments are screened (and anonymous commenting is allowed), will be un-screened on Valentines Day.))

Why is it so hard to get decent service at any restaurant around here?! I tried to get a double cheeseburger at McBurgers and they didn't put any pickles on it!!! I can't eat a double cheeseburger without pickles! Well I went right back to the counter and... politely asked for them to make me a new one with pickles. You know what they said?! They said they were OUT of pickles! What kind of fast food restaurant runs out of pickles?! They were probably lying just so they wouldn't have to go make a new one! Well I demanded they let me speak to the manager, and he told me the same thing! They're all holding out on me, a sweet old lady. Well, I threw that double cheeseburger on the ground, told them I was never coming back, and walked right out! Well I decided they're not getting off that easy, so I'm going to come back tomorrow and make sure they get that double cheeseburger right!

I just want everyone out there to know what a sweetie and a gentleman that Miles Edgeworth is! Ooh, he just makes me melt with his kindness! And he's so good-looking, too! That man has real STYLE!

All you punks out there need to learn how to be more like him!

...Hmph. Well, Christmas was boring, just like every other year!

I did get something in the mail, though. From that punk brat who thinks it's hip to wear sunglasses indoors.

It's a scarf.

...

It's......

It's actually not too bad. And it has a nice color on it.

.................

Hmph! Looks like you're not such a terrible punk after all. But you're still a punk!

What an obnoxious holiday. It's no wonder kids these days are so spoiled and materialistic! It's not like I get much in the mail each year... well, I don't want anything anyways! My lazy son is expecting an iPod shuffle, whatever that is. I'm getting him a dieting kit, that's what! He could stand to lose a few dozen pounds.

...Of course, some people actually work hard and deserve nice gifts. Such as Edgey-boy. <3 Oh Eeeedgey, you should be getting a limited edition Steel Samurai promotional poster in the mail soon. I hope it's something you'll enjoy, dearie. <3 <3 <3

But other than that, I see no need to participate in this nonsense! I'm going to spend Christmas in a big casino with a bottle of cognac! Now there's some holiday cheer. And don't any of you be wishing me a "happy holidays," I don't want to hear it!

Hmph! I suppose I should keep a log of what's been happing around here lately. I'll need to keep track of the local punk kids if I ever want to file a report on those brats. Those hoodlums might form a gang and throw a rock through my window or something.

Today's youth is trouble! Back when I was a girl, I always respected the grown-ups! Now look at kids today... with their loud music and bad haircuts and foul mouthes. It makes me sick!! I've had to deal with a lot of rude brats lately. Rrr! They make me so MAD! I just want to go to the gym and pound on a punching bag after meeting some of these horrid whippersnappers!!! If the gym weren't closed today, I'd go there now!

And let it be known that I was poor sweet Hammer's BIGGEST FAN! A nasty little brat is trying to tell people I killed him. What slanderous nonsense!!! Nobody listen to that whippersnapper. Anyone with a TV knows that was that atrocious Vasquez that killed him! And I'd still bet money that that unsightly Will Powers was in on it!!! (That whippersnapper lawyer may have fooled everyone else on that, but not me! I'm as sharp as a knife! I know how it went down!)

My lousy son came and visited me today. Hmph! The boy is worthless. Thirty years old and he can't hold a proper job, so the only reason he visits his dear mother is to see if she's near death yet so he can collect inheritance. I'M NOT THAT OLD YET. Little does he know that he's not getting a cent! I'm taking all my money with me to the grave when I die, if I don't spend it all first!

He said he was visiting because it's a holiday. He's just a moocher! And he doesn't want to feel bad about never calling so he shows his face once every holiday to get in good with karma. What a slacker. I can still take him down in arm wrestling. He's let himself get soft!

Thanksgiving holiday... what nonsense. The only things I have to be thankful for are jelly-filled donuts and a cute actor!